The meeting

Thank you all for coming to Mom's appt with Dr Perra yesterday. It was difficult but not as bad as I had feared. The end result is what we were after though and it is a blessing that she acquiesced. I felt sorry for her though as we were leaving - smacking her cane against the floor and saying "I am capable!" Well of course she is for many things. It is the things she isn't so capable in that are so concerning.
May Kudos to you all for helping her through a moment of real frustration and anger. The "C'mon Mom, we're just scamming the insurance company" line was absolutely great and seemed to give her the 'out' she needed.
Mom is wonderfully giving as a general rule and if she thinks this is all done to help somebody out, who cares ? It accomplishes the goal of having someone with her to watch out for her safety and well-being.

Now..... Becky talked to her last evening and unfortunately Mom didn't recall the fact that we had all been with her at the Dr. office. So, I doubt she will recall that Rob is going to be staying with her during the day. Hopefully that will start soon! I'll get my letter off to the insurance company today to hopefully lend some support to the letter Dr Perra writes so that we can get her ong Term care policy to kick in and Rob can get paid to do what is going to be a frustrating (at times) task.

One step at a time in this for all of us. It seems that our path is an uphill one in many respects. Mom will have good days but she will have bad ones, too. Her path is mostly going to be a sliding one. In the last 2 years I've noticed a definite decline. Yesterday in the Dr office Suzanne asked if she had had a good time at Aunt Maggies. Mom said she did and that they had done 'the usual stuff'. Then Rob asked if it had been hot. Mom said that "It wasn't too bad. But I was there early in the season so the hottest it got was maybe 92 or 93."
Mom doesn't lie, exactly. But when she loses a memory it is a protective thing to 'fill in the blanks' with what sounds, to her mind, reasonable. I really do encourage all of you to read "The 36-Hour Day" and to listen to "The Savvy Caregiver". Rob has loaned us several copies of Savvy Caregiver. I listened to them as I drove to work and then I checked out the DVD from the library and listened to it again. It is a seminar, run by a social worker who is trying to help the family members of those with dementia learn how their loved one's mind doesn't function anymore. It is an eye-opener and I think, will be helpful for all of us to have some understanding that it isn't Mom - it's the condition.
Does Mom have Alzheimer's ? I don't think so. At least, not yet. But she does have dementia and dementia seldom gets better. It may plateau, and the medicine she should have been taking can help it to plateau, but.... she didn't take that medicine while in Texas. She told Aunt M it was a sleeping pill. :-(
Dr Perra is going to refer Mom to a geriatrics assessment center here in Knoxville and that is good news, indeed !! I've only heard about these places, but I understand they do several hours worth of assessment in several different ways. I expect they will experience Mom's tendency to tell the same story over and over and her inability to learn new skills or tasks. After the assessment we will have a much better idea of where she is right now in the language of demetia (Stage 1 or 2 or 3 or whatever). I think it will help us plan better for her.

Hope, I know you wanted to wait on this Dr appt - family meeting thing but too many plans had already been made. Our ends are accomplished and Mom seems to have accepted it. I say seems, because she didn't remember it last night when Becky talked to her. I do hope you can come up this weekend and that your health improves quickly and uneventfully so that you can be a more frequent presence in all of our lives.

I could go on. But I won't. You all have a sweet day and feel free to post here with questions, thoughts, opinions, etc. I put this board up so that we can save some phone calls and so that questions and comments could be shared by all who were interested. Please use it. It can be a valuable tool.

I love you.
Amy