Tuesday we went to the bank to take care of some trip business and for Helen to get $800, $100 of which she immediately spent on three cartons of cigarettes across the road. We got back home only to find they were the wrong kind of Senecas so I jumped back in the car, high-tailed it to the store and exchanged them for her kind. After that, I did the dishes and spent a full half-hour getting her CDs into the proper cases. She has 25 Don Williams' CDs! I wrote his web page today and requested an 8 x 10 glossy autographed by Don. We'll see what happens. Then it was on to Hancock's for lunch. I tried to buy but Helen wouldn't allow it. Amy was there when we got back and we talked, Helen read some, looked at those old photos some. She definitely needs people, just not gobs of them and they must be peaceful. A person with dementia may not pick up on what you say, but they do pick up on what your mood is. It's uncanny, I know, but go over to see her when you are irritated and see if she doesn't become irritated too. That works both ways, of course, your mood influencing her in a positive way. She's "there" and she's not; she remembers and she doesn't; she knows what's happening and she doesn't....all at the same time. It's all very gray, not all black, not all white. You just have to keep your antennas up and hope you guess right. Just when you expect her to be "on" she's off, just when you think she has forgotten, she remembers. Love, listen, be as positive as you can, pretend when you have to. R.
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Pretend. Shouldn't be hard. We were raised to be experts at it.
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